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The Art of Hosting & Harvesting Conversations That Matter

3 day training  |  Bega Valley  |  September 2020

Kianinny Cottages Tathra

This training was a first for the Bega Valley, a strong call by David Newell in the wake of Black Summer bushfires that devastated the region's landscape and continues to impact on the lives of all of its citizens in many ways. 

It felt remarkable to meet face to face in the time of Covid. We were a small group, of just 3 training hosts, and 12 participants. Even within this group, we had a great deal of diversity, as invested volunteers from small communities across Bega Valley and beyond, people from organisations working in bushfire recovery and resilience, and others responding to the calling question: What’s possible when we support each other to strengthen and heal our communities? 

Here is one way of sharing what we've learned, as this group of hosts brings their practice to their work and lives.

Reflections

What has been the most meaningful aspect of the training for you?

  • The fact that I was given time, with open minded and open hearted company, to start thinking about listening, learning and the art of harvesting. That time is not very often given, it gave me the space and time to think about those things. It also let me see where I can implement this in my professional and private life. Von

  • The ability for people to come together in collaborative groups to look at problems, come up with some ideas and see where that takes them. Angela

  • My connection with others, and the ability to stop, drop in, connect and check in with myself. Bethany

  • The relational aspect. Everything we’ve done, you need to be doing it with other people. I believe that’s very important. Chris

  • It’s shown me that it’s continual life learning. We’re all leaders. Every single person in a process like this has the power to share wisdom and to create something together. Circle practice and all Art of Hosting processes are very clear and easy to embody. Anyone can do this, and it can support everyone in community. Deb

  • That crafting a powerful questions is an art that needs to be practiced. It’s really important. Henry

  • Reinforcing some of what I knew, and putting it into a process I could see is applicable to my work, my life and the way I’m working now. Liz

  • It’s helped me refine a future picture that’s tied into the joy of people coming together to find sublime solutions. I want to be involved in that. Ronan
     

What's one way that you'll use the skills that you've learned?

  • At community meetings I attend, as a way to encourage conversation, inclusiveness and keep things moving forward. Angela

  • To deepen the connection with others in my life and those I make in community. I’ll continue to use the lessons and the learning from these couple of days to check in with myself and make sure I am doing my self care. Bethany

  • I think all of this work at its core is: I am the project. A lot of personal growth, and then taking that culture out into my world. Chris

  • I’ve realised I’m already using a lot of these processes in my work. I’ve had a lot of reminders about bringing it into my everyday life, in how I deal with people in my family, walking down the street. I can bring these processes into every interaction I have, and I intend to do that. To continue to walk beside my family and community, learning together as we go and creating change together. Deb

  • To create a safe space for the people I work with, whether they be professionally in my job, at home, or with the sporting team that I coach. Henry

  • In my engagement with young people, ensuring it is done in a way that allows them to have a voice, and is genuine youth participation and a collaborative process. Liz

  • I realise that in a sense, circle is everywhere and we are using those skills all of the time. I’ve worked for a long time picking up the pieces down the river of people from the mistakes of society. My interest now is getting up the river and catching people before they drop in. This is a perfect way to do it. Ronan

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DAY 1 - STEPPING IN 

We sat in circle - acknowledging the Djirriganj people of the Yuin nation as traditional owners of the land, and checking in with each other to slow down, arrive well, become present, and connect. Here is some of what was shared: 

 
What did the invitation spark in you? 


Rest

  • we are exhausted and overwhelmed

  • a hard year - to support, strengthen, heal community and me

  • find space for myself and reflection

  • hope, encouragement to continue being courageous

Personal learning

  • sitting in the not knowing and being comfortable with that

  • to find new ways of looking at things

  • be a better listener

  • adventure, excitement, possibility
     

To be of service

  • I want to be able to hold conversations, especially with young people

  • I want to learn how to host people well

  • how do I hold difference in groups of people? 

  • how do I get more comfortable with fewer and fewer answers?

  • to be part of the healing, help others open up

  • creating spaces for strength and vulnerability together

  • how can we strengthen and heal well?

  • the great need everywhere for this work

Storytelling 

We were introduced to the Four Levels of Listening (The Presencing Institute), and invited into deeper listening as we shared stories in groups of 3. We each told about a time when we stepped up with courage, using and learning an Appreciative Inquiry process.

We harvested the shared elements of our stories - forming our own recipe for courage.

The process

  • a chance to give people a voice and share personal stories

  • how quickly we can drop in, with trust, deep respect 

  • the questions feel very important

  • a way to open up and deepen connection quickly, and harvest the essence of the stories for a purpose, many applications

A recipe for courage

Connection to something bigger

  • facing my own healing for bigger healing

  • giving a voice to a larger issue

  • standing for something bigger than ourselves

  • stepping back to see the big picture

​Self awareness and leadership 

  • connection to values

  • persistence

  • openness, authenticity

  • acceptance

  • no expectations

Relationship with others

  • trust, connection, relationship

  • respectful communication​

Being in the unknowing

  • throwing the script away

  • sit in the fire of unknowing

  • entering the unknown leads to growth

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Art of Hosting worldviews

We were introduced to a few of the worldviews and assumptions of Art of Hosting practice: Living systems (complex, adaptive systems), the Breath Pattern (Sam Kaner's Diamond of Participation), and the Chaordic Path (Dee Hock).

Reflection:

  • patterns in the chaos help us to let go and not have fear

  • raising children, it’s tempting to stay in the order and control, and work with what we know

  • living systems, links with Indigenous ways of being

  • hosting - a way to bring the living system into the mechanistic

  • to solve complex issues, we need to do something different

  • the Breath pattern - the complexity of moving through on an individual or collective level. Where am I?

  • lots of unlearning to do. It’s what we know well (mechanistic worldview and systems)

Cafe conversations

We used The World Cafe, a powerful conversational process, to explore our central question for the training. We sat in groups of 4, moving tables over three rounds to connect, cross pollinate and build on ideas. The pictures show Angela's sensemaking of our contributions. Here are some of the insights:

1. What’s possible when we feel really supported in our work & in our communities?
  • courage and resilience

  • inspiration and energy

  • connection

  • sustainability

  • collaboration

  • find the best way forward together

  • anything is possible!

2. What’s needed for us to be supported?
  • clarity of purpose

  • playfulness, joy and creativity

  • equity of opportunity

  • a culture that trusts people as experts of themselves

  • mates - someone having your back

  • presence, self care

  • self awareness, acceptance and acknowledging worth

  • be listened to, heard, accepted

  • tolerance, respect and compassion

  • time and a safe space to ask for and receive support

  • cups of tea (ritual)

  • support looks different for everyone

3. How can we show up to support each other?
  • be authentic and open (vulnerability & boundaries)

  • sit back and listen - then make a clear offer, without attachment, with an open heart

  • to understand and then be understood

  • step in and step out when needed

  • leave your ego at the door

  • self awareness - am I the right person to support?

  • support people and let them be free

  • surrender and let go

  • acknowledge anger is valid

  • take the long view

  • being open minded and optimistic

  • giving time and acceptance

  • responsibilities: to listen, be present, be available, be respectful, be objective

  • listen and drink tea